Goholosh Omm
by eprime
Summary: The Battle of Hogwarts Missing Chapter. Wherein Neville and Ron kick Fenrir Greyback's ass and  unknowingly  leave him to a fate worse than death. Total crack. Gogholosh-omm was generated from Lovecraftian Name Generator. Written for hp wishes crack promt


Goholosh-omm was lonely. Ever since Yibb-Tstll had buggered off to eldritch depths with countless Nightgaunts (shameless tart) who forever sucked unhallowed black blood from its innumerable (hideous-luscious pendulous oozing) breasts it had been moping about in the lake with nothing better to do than wait for the shadow of great Yuggoth to appear in the sky once more and herald Goholosh-omm's release from its terrestrial prison. It also fished the occasional crawling spawn of this infernal orb out of its lovely black waters and tossed them back in the little boats they used to get to the vermin-infested castle in which they swarmed, but that was hardly an absorbing task for its stupendous and sweeping consciousness.

One glorious day when the twin moons of Yuggoth finally hung blackly above him again and fungi-covered Nithon glowed green and the putrid depths of the cavern of Ghoor wafted glorious, pungent stench through its breathing orifices, then Goholosh-omm would rise up and cleanse this land of all the intrusive little buggers. Not for the first time it wished for a horde of shoggoths to light the eldritch fires and drone the terrible chants and caper and gibber the maddening rites like proper little minions.

The merfolk in the lake weren't cooperative at all, and they were rather inbred if Goholosh-omm was being quite honest, and the steady diet of raw grindylow they offered it as a sign of their awe and obeisance had grown tiresome long ago. It longed for something more toothsome. Plus it was randy as a hound of Tindalos in heat.

Its magnificent tentacles (even if its eons of inactivity had left then shockingly limp and a bit flabby) jetted Goholosh-omm to the surface of the water where it swum in gloomy circles and brooded on the nature of the multi-verse until it noticed something strange. The vermin were swarming. Odd at this time of night as they normally preferred the scorching, unforgiving glow of their accursed orb's sun.

Goholosh-omm was rather put out. Could it never have a quiet moment to contemplate its many navels even if none of them could actually be seen on this particular plane of existence? Sparks of light were flying to and fro and he could hear their high pitched little voices carrying across the water. _Tekeli-li__...tekeli-li_. Perhaps it had been alone too long or its wallowing in maudlin reverie had sent it round the bend, but Goholosh-omm was surprised to find the sound of it rather pleasant. Evocative even. Reminded him a bit of home.

Chuffed, Goholosh-omm swam closer to the edge of the lake, peering up over the ripples to make out what was happening. The fire fight looked almost eldritch and the moans and shouts were like ancient and infernal music to his listening apparatus. It could almost believe it was basking in the subterranean slime of the Ghooric Zone where the puffed Shoggoths splash.

Mesmerized, Goholosh-omm observed as three of the vermin broke away from the main swarm. One, larger than the others (though, pitifully small in comparison to the mighty and unending greatness of Goholosh-omm, of course), scuttled ahead shooting fire behind it as it went. The vermin behind it shouted and shot their fire true, though one was also waving a sword around and looked as if it would cut off its own head at any moment. Pathetic.

Goholosh-omm could feel the burst of puny magic, though, and snorted in amused disdain. Still, the larger one fell to the ground and didn't move. A minor explosion that shook the ground and screams from the main nest sent the two smaller vermin scuttling away.

Goholosh-omm swam closer to the bank. One tentacle slithered over the mud and prodded at the inert form. Wrapping a suckered tip around the vermin's middle Goholosh-omm dragged him to the edge of the water. Goholosh-omm gasped. The vermin was covered in innumerable jelly-like tentacles that jiggled and waved with a lurid and sticky allure. Goholosh-omm's own tentacles quivered and inadvertently snapped the vermin (no, the creature, the enchanting creature) off the ground. It hung in midair for a moment, literally rippling from top to bottom, and Goholosh-omm saw that all its appendages were as beautifully pliable and flexible and of the same irresistible consistency as the tiny, lovely growths that graced the rest of its form.

Goholosh-omm's black and ichorous heart beat faster. It ihad/i been a long time. Impatiently, it slapped the tip of its tentacle against the creature's pallid and gelatinous flesh and watched with avid hunger as it rippled lewdly. No sign of consciousness, but...yes, there it was. Goholosh-omm could feel the tiny spark of the insignificant creature's life force still throbbing deep down inside its rotting shell. It could work with that.

Heaving itself out of the water, Goholosh-omm got down to some serious soul sucking. True, it wasn't the same as a good old -fashioned orgy with Shub-Niggurath and her thousand young, but, hey, six orifices were better than none. And as Goholosh-omm released his luminescent seed into the black waters of the lake with a mighty groan that made the castle vermin falter and cringe, it certainly wasn't complaining.


End file.
